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You Can't Always Get Where You Want.... - Blather. Rants. Repeat.
A Møøse once bit my sister ...
You Can't Always Get Where You Want....
Let's go for a drive in the neighborhood....

Ours, to be precise. We're up near the top right of that map- to the left of those purple lines (I'll explain those in a moment). The subdivision is surrounded on all four sides by moderately busy state highways- four-lane on the north and south edges, two-lane east and west.  An interstate cuts through the whole area, but isn't really part of this discussion.

What is causing it is that red splotch in the upper right edge.   That is your basic ROAD CLOSED while they dig up pipes that have been there since Roman times.  The state DOT announced this a week or so ahead, and posted a detour.  It is not a nice detour: follow the long green road.  To get around that one-block blockage, they're telling drivers to go completely around the subdivision, making three extra turns and encountering eleven extra traffic lights (conveniently marked in yellow on ye olde mappe).

This will not do.  The Special Snowflakes of the northern suburbs are not deterred. For the first few days, they got lost, many winding up all the way into our streets to the left of the purple (I'm STILL gonna get to that).  I've suggested putting up a toll booth so we can at least make money off the inconvenience.

Now we're near the one-week mark, though, and most of the Snowflakes have figured it out.  GPS and all, y'know. You can avoid the red splotch and the long green road by cutting through the Pretty Purple Unposted Bypass. And cut they do- at highway speed, and with total disregard, among other things, for the three stop signs on the route (those red polygons atop the purple) which are against them on all of the northbound trek.  One of them even has a sign recently posted above the stop sign saying CROSS TRAFFIC DOES NOT STOP; they DO NOT CARE. Nor do they have any patience for those of us who DO have the right of way when we're trying to head out to the open north end of the red splotch while they're entering to head south: they merrily turn left in front of us and exude the 'tude of I'm older than you and have more insurance.

It got to the point where Eleanor has been going out of her way to avoid the whole mess- and it's finally gotten to the point where an unmarked cop car is now planted at the north end of Purple Parkway to try to restrain the worst of the idiots.

In theory, it will be fixed by the end of this week, and the Snowflakes will go back to whatever circle of hell they came from.  Until then, though, I'm ready to DON'T WAIT DIAL 8 at the drop of a detour.
4 comments or Leave a comment
weebleswobble From: weebleswobble Date: August 26th, 2015 12:56 am (UTC) (Link)
dont wait dial 8?

detours suck. my parents suburb is bombarded with rerouted, impatient, misbehaving traffic.

the highway exit to my parents house has been under construction since spring and isnt expected to reopen until next year. they tore the entire bridge out and are adding another lane in each direction, north and south. widening the bridge, and rearranging the exit and entrance ramps (which were previously so tight you couldnt get up to speed and lots of accidents were occurring). its been a pain in the ass. and now they've closed the exit directly south from that exit! to redo the exit and entrance lanes. they redid that bridge last year. the exit just north of my parents closed exit is a major highway. aaaand they closed multiple lanes of THAT east/west highway for resurfacing.

and the other two north/south highways west of this highway by my parents house, also have construction. one is entirely closed on one side and rerouted to the other, to add lanes in each direction. so there is road construction, road construction, road construction, road construction, or road construction! those are the options. to go east is to cross the mississippi river (with limited bridges) and to go into downtown minneapolis. so no easy detour that way. people in the west metro are especially pissed at MN DOT right now for scheduling ALL of that at the same damn time.
captainsblog From: captainsblog Date: August 26th, 2015 01:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Sorry- I forget that everyone hasn't been infected with that earworm.

There's been a battle of personal injury lawyers here for years. They spend tons on billboards and other media and they need that memorable phone number. The biggest got by for years with a number ending in "2020" (surprised an optician hadn't snagged it), but then they started losing business to another guy who got the number 444-4444. So the original guys dropped half a bank to buy up 888-8888 in every New York area code and changed their tagline to "DON'T WAIT CALL 8!" (I always say it as "DIAL 8!" just to piss them off.)

As for the roads, yeah. The DOT here is famous for doing all the east-west major roads one year and the north-south ones the next, just to cut off all possible escape routes.
weebleswobble From: weebleswobble Date: August 26th, 2015 01:46 am (UTC) (Link)
ugh, earworms! theres a few commercials that play too often that i can recite the phone number to. often without remembering what they're even for.

usually road construction is at least spread more across the entire metro area, north, south, east, west, central. this year its taken an extra hard focus on west. its been a frequent focus of the new, all the closures, all the disruption, the traffic jams, the accidents, the complaints.

and this is minnesota. the standing joke here is that the seasons are either winter, or road construction.

and your icon is SOOOO fitting.

Edited at 2015-08-26 01:47 am (UTC)
greenquotebook From: greenquotebook Date: August 27th, 2015 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have fun with that! My prolonged visit to NJ kept me away from the area during most of the final stages of our sewer line replacement. I'm grateful for that.
4 comments or Leave a comment