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Drive, He Said.... - Blather. Rants. Repeat.
A Møøse once bit my sister ...
Drive, He Said....

That was pretty much yesterday:

- Drive to a useless 10 a.m. court appearance in downtown Buffalo, leaving not a minute to waste to have time to get to a more useful noon appearance in Olean;

- Wasted a few minutes anyway (saw a friend in the clerk's office I hadn't seen in a while), drove the 90 minutes to Olean in more like 83, avoided two speed traps and only got stuck behind two slowpokes on 219 before rolling into the courtroom at 12:05 (I "won");

- Then, just drive for close to seven hours.  JARVIS- good mileage but small tank- requires more frequent fillups, and one of them, unfortunately, was in Pennsylvania, where they apparently decided to raise the state gas tax as soon as New Jersey raised theirs.   It's much less here in Maryland.

- Last night was the usual seafood experience in my friend's old neighborhood, a really bad old Star Trek episode, and meeting her new-to-me cat (longhaired like one of ours, the markings of the other, and about as big as the two of them combined). She parked right next to me and took belly rubs when I first got here, but now she's apparently smelled enough Evil Kitty on me and won't come close.

Soon we will be off to Doctor Who-munitating for the day.  I will leave you with this bit from yesterday, though, posted to Facebook right before I started all that driving:

In a post yesterday, I referred to Jesus as an "Emo kid" (pissing off at least one person in the process). This naturally got me thinking: I submit that Jesus was the first Millennial. (Makes sense, right? The millennia are numbered for Him!)

You want proof? Here- all Biblical:

1) His birth was celebrated with an over-the-top party where they invited the whole neighborhood and even faraway guests to bring presents- when the kid was too young to even realize what was going on.

2) A few weeks later, He made his mother and step-father take Him on a special trip out of town while all the other Innocents got slaughtered- the first-ever Special Snowflake!

3) In the only recorded account of His childhood years, He ran off from His family, and was finally found, oblivious to His parents' worries, shooting His mouth off to a bunch of strangers, impressing them with how smart He was.

4) He did absolutely nothing of significance in His 20s.

5) When the story picks up again, all He does is hang out with a bunch of bros, traveling all over with them but always coming back to His mom.

6) He hated rules and authority figures and never hesitated to tell them that to their face.

7) Never took responsibility for breaking a law or doing anything wrong- He was blameless!

8) Everybody got healed. Everybody got fed. This is a kid raised on Participation Trophies!

9) Then He chose to kill Himself in the most garish, attention-grabbing way known to human history- and even after the Resurrection, kept going on with His friends about showing them His scars.

10) On the third day He rose from the dead. He ascended into Heaven- so yeah, even all these centuries later and with billions of adherents, He's still living in His Father's house.

5 comments or Leave a comment
weebleswobble From: weebleswobble Date: March 25th, 2017 01:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
bwahahahaha! thats hilarious. i've never heard it put that way but its perfect.
glenmarshall From: glenmarshall Date: March 25th, 2017 02:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
I will steal this, with appropriate attribution.
ecosopher From: ecosopher Date: March 25th, 2017 03:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ha, I *love* your Jesus-as-Millennial idea. I will have to tell my dad (a deacon). He'll definitely appreciate the humour!
warriorsavant From: warriorsavant Date: March 27th, 2017 08:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Jesus was the ultimate "good jewish boy:" thirty three, unmarried, and his mother thought he was god.
captainsblog From: captainsblog Date: March 27th, 2017 11:45 am (UTC) (Link)
I remember that one. Also: went into his father's line of work, and thought his mother was a virgin.
5 comments or Leave a comment